Want to get married but sad enough no dui xiang
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time is not ripe yet.Originally posted by chunyong:i think nobody will think like me, i'm born without the love genes anyway...
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Are you from ACS? Just a hunch.
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nope...Originally posted by ditzy:Are you from ACS? Just a hunch. -
find it so hard to actually like someone...dunno y oso.Originally posted by mistyblue:time is not ripe yet. 
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True true... well, some people are meant to get married and live their lives, while some people are never meant to get married. I think it depends on how the individual decides for his life and how his personality will help him through if he chooses either path.Originally posted by chunyong:i think nobody will think like me, i'm born without the love genes anyway...
You may be right to say that love are encrypted in the genes, I do somewhat agree with you on that.
Oh ya, and Maddo, there comes a time when you often think like what you said, months of indecisiveness, but eventually when you the right time and the right person is there for you, your indecisiveness will turn into decision-making, and you will know it, when things between you and the girl or guy you like can come to terms, though it may not always be easy, it will somehow come to terms. And when you have the gut-feeling about that, you may well be sure that she is meant for you. It's just hard to separate the both of you =P
For now, try to think of what you want best for your future rather than being confused of choosing to get married or not. -
+/- 1Originally posted by mistyblue:time is not ripe yet. 
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I already told you... negativity kills everything ...Originally posted by chunyong:find it so hard to actually like someone...dunno y oso.
sigh... Chinese saying translated into Eng:
Boat when reach Bridge will Auto Straighten
You just think too much and too hard and become so pessimistic. If you have a friend everyday tell you about doom and gloom... do you like to be with this friend? -
i thought it was about the stupid alimony and divorce laws that discriminate against man.........Originally posted by chunyong:eh....its true mah.....wedding banquet mian lui huh ? take photo mian lui huh ? go jiu hu take photo oso need $. attire and stuff no need lui huh ? u think ang pow $ can tiap back the 'hole' meh....bo ko leng lah....although my sis dat time earn 2-3K from the banquet but minus off others still kui.
then gin nah gunihoon mian lui huh ? then wait pwa bee see norgoon mian lui huh ? wait wife when pregnant anyhow catch u this cannot dat cannot u wun du lan huh ?
so.....best is dun marry...if u make the mistake of marrying...dun get her pregnant at all cost. enjoy the intercourse and not the aftermath..
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and just because of that ??? its not applied without flexibility.Originally posted by hisoka:i thought it was about the stupid alimony and divorce laws that discriminate against man......... -
you just have to weigh the pro and cons
someone to hug at night , tender hand to hold, someone to tell you sweet silly stuff, and of cos what every guy want have SEX
Your Gf will try to control you .. you have to do this do that cannot do this and that and her demands , expectation to meet... and her friends family member you have to bear with ..
So many times I feel like giving up but when I see her sweet innocent eyes I just melted -
but still applied mah...... anyway i was just reading into his point, i think its a dam dumb law but i'm not against marraige just interpreting what was said.Originally posted by mistyblue:and just because of that ??? its not applied without flexibility.
so you better be sure if the women is the one or else will premarriage agreement work?
oh yeah i also wanna be attached but no one want me -
haha, u ganna her trojan horse liao and u chose to uninstall your anti-virus willingly....dats sad.Originally posted by seancannot:you just have to weigh the pro and cons
someone to hug at night , tender hand to hold, someone to tell you sweet silly stuff, and of cos what every guy want have SEX
Your Gf will try to control you .. you have to do this do that cannot do this and that and her demands , expectation to meet... and her friends family member you have to bear with ..
So many times I feel like giving up but when I see her sweet innocent eyes I just melted -
if you start on the footing that it is going to end in divorce. I can guarantee it will.Originally posted by hisoka:but still applied mah...... anyway i was just reading into his point, i think its a dam dumb law but i'm not against marraige just interpreting what was said.
so you better be sure if the women is the one or else will premarriage agreement work?
oh yeah i also wanna be attached but no one want me
If you start on the footing that you distrust her that you need a contract to bind her, are you saying your love for each other is just so shallow?
Next to think about is your choice. Your GF/future wife is the person you choose. Are you so poor in your choice you cannot choose a good and nice person. There is no perfect person.
You wanna be attached? You sure you're ready... You seem to be reinforcing yourself with the like-minded views of negative things... Its not readiness in my view..
And mostly, while most people blame others, they forgot to see what they themselves had done to cause the issues in the first place.
Short except on wrong Footing and its real:
My Ex-Sister In Law. 1 week after she got married. She cry herself silly over little things and made the whole family sit down to listen to her garbage for 3 hrs. Then she immediately declare she want out of the marriage and used divorce to threaten all of us so as to submit to her whims. We tried to accomodate her and had to bend over backwards but she just was never happy. All she saw (or choose to see at that time) in the whole marriage was that we ill treat her (she is unemployed and she does nothing at home - the rest of us cook and clean after her) , she choose to see my brother was bad to her (I can vouch he treats her better than his own family) and she cry wolf all the time, complain about SG no good, SG people stupid, SG govt sux, SG weather lousy, SG food not to her liking, my family religion sux and etc. Non-stop complain - negative to infinity. Every 2 weeks she scream divorce - it was hell for everyone. My mom got so tired of her endless complains and we had to humour/entertain her so much in the end, my mom felt there is no way this r/s will last. In the end, the woman herself called to divorce because my bro was taking care of their kid at home while she insist for him to drive all the way to M'sia to fetch her past midnight. Yes, she still act like she's single and go out till am hours and no one dare to say her. -
i will not stand such things one...i will divorce her the next morning.Originally posted by mistyblue:if you start on the footing that it is going to end in divorce. I can guarantee it will.
If you start on the footing that you distrust her that you need a contract to bind her, are you saying your love for each other is just so shallow?
Next to think about is your choice. Your GF/future wife is the person you choose. Are you so poor in your choice you cannot choose a good and nice person. There is no perfect person.
You wanna be attached? You sure you're ready... You seem to be reinforcing yourself with the like-minded views of negative things... Its not readiness in my view..
And mostly, while most people blame others, they forgot to see what they themselves had done to cause the issues in the first place.
Short except on wrong Footing and its real:
My Ex-Sister In Law. 1 week after she got married. She cry herself silly over little things and made the whole family sit down to listen to her garbage for 3 hrs. Then she immediately declare she want out of the marriage and used divorce to threaten all of us so as to submit to her whims. We tried to accomodate her and had to bend over backwards but she just was never happy. All she saw (or choose to see at that time) in the whole marriage was that we ill treat her (she is unemployed and she does nothing at home - the rest of us cook and clean after her) , she choose to see my brother was bad to her (I can vouch he treats her better than his own family) and she cry wolf all the time, complain about SG no good, SG people stupid, SG govt sux, SG weather lousy, SG food not to her liking, my family religion sux and etc. Non-stop complain - negative to infinity. Every 2 weeks she scream divorce - it was hell for everyone. My mom got so tired of her endless complains and we had to humour/entertain her so much in the end, my mom felt there is no way this r/s will last. In the end, the woman herself called to divorce because my bro was taking care of their kid at home while she insist for him to drive all the way to M'sia to fetch her past midnight. Yes, she still act like she's single and go out till am hours and no one dare to say her. -
hahaha... r/s is not so simple.Originally posted by chunyong:i will not stand such things one...i will divorce her the next morning. -
i feel srry for ur family especially ur bro n his kids
if im ur bro i will kill her n chop her body into many pieces lol -
ha, b4 i have kids must QA/QC...cos if have kids then more jialat...if no kids i just divorce...but hey, i most prob wun even get married in the 1st place....i too used to being carefreeOriginally posted by mistyblue:hahaha... r/s is not so simple. -
she won custody after sueing the family and since she won we had to fork out all the lawyer fees and she's since moved back to Taiwan. The kid, well, she would lose weight everytime she stays with her mother and jul pictures we saw of her over in taiwan was such an unhappy, dull kid like she was beaten constantly or starved constantly - lifeless. My parents accepted the kid will never return and even if she did, she's no longer ours. I guess the b!tch might try to get $ once again using the kid... but I'll just wait and see.Originally posted by dunhav:i feel srry for ur family especially ur bro n his kids
if im ur bro i will kill her n chop her body into many pieces lol
We had to go into the r/s assuming all will turn out well eventually but the woman was not keen in the first place. Anyways, its my brother's bad choice. He barely know the girl and on the spur of the moment proposed. The stupid b!tch accepted thinking she can control and change him into some henpecked moron. Anyways, my stupid brother is after another woman. I don't think he ever learn and all he brought to the family is waste and pain.
My parents paid dearly for a useless son and the hole he dug himself into. For all the reasons, I had chosen to move out cause I did not want to be a part of the problem nor be in there dealing with someone's problem. But it does not diminish the amount of pain I feel for my parents. -
Guys sometime just let their bottom rule over their top... I can empthasie with your brother ... you want someone to love and made love at all cost ... this is not wrong
wat the brother done wrong was he should live alone with his wife not entire family and implicate them
my fren warned me about taiwanese woman before .. are they really that bad -
most guys wanna go for foreign girls. But most foreign girls also know sg guys are really easy targets and easy to manipulate... I cannot say for all but I've met very manipulative vietnam girls (they are really bossy and difficult people), very daring thai mei (aborted her baby and ran away from her husband + abandon her 1st child), loose PRCs (u all see it lah), taiwan girl (first hand experience - spoilt to the core and yet their men love them like treasures) and etc. Local girls are stuck up but so what .. most are actually quite timid and likes to act tough. Most local girls/guys are insecure. If one cannot there's always another.Originally posted by seancannot:Guys sometime just let their bottom rule over their top... I can empthasie with your brother ... you want someone to love and made love at all cost ... this is not wrong
wat the brother done wrong was he should live alone with his wife not entire family and implicate them
my fren warned me about taiwanese woman before .. are they really that bad
Local guys just are too easily discouraged and with keep dissing and disrespecting local gilrs ... seeing only bad points and talking about them as if they are sex objects ... and missing all the good points and kind points.
Local guys would be the ultimate losers because there is no shortage of good quality people out there who see some local sg girls as good catches and want to bring them home. The image local guys cast is also unsavoury in the eyes of local and foreign gals as immature and etc. Sometimes I think our sglife/education fail to teach us the basic social skills and our people are so awkward and painful when they had to interact.
If people, men or women, keep seeing only bad things about others, then these people miss the whole point of living. Life is flawed simply because throughout life, we had to experience many hardships and yet enjoy many happy times. We cannot always remember the hard times and forget about the good things and good times we had. And life is flawed because it is short, it will end and there will be lots of regrets and no turning back. So what if one girl rejects or one guy dumps ... there's always the next one. Don't just let that small stumble make you fail to learn how to stand up and walk on.
This is a summary of social observation and discussion and I guess I am sharing with people... -
no need to be so serious like wanna flame me bah?Originally posted by mistyblue:if you start on the footing that it is going to end in divorce. I can guarantee it will.
If you start on the footing that you distrust her that you need a contract to bind her, are you saying your love for each other is just so shallow?
Next to think about is your choice. Your GF/future wife is the person you choose. Are you so poor in your choice you cannot choose a good and nice person. There is no perfect person.
You wanna be attached? You sure you're ready... You seem to be reinforcing yourself with the like-minded views of negative things... Its not readiness in my view..
And mostly, while most people blame others, they forgot to see what they themselves had done to cause the issues in the first place.
Short except on wrong Footing and its real:
My Ex-Sister In Law. 1 week after she got married. She cry herself silly over little things and made the whole family sit down to listen to her garbage for 3 hrs. Then she immediately declare she want out of the marriage and used divorce to threaten all of us so as to submit to her whims. We tried to accomodate her and had to bend over backwards but she just was never happy. All she saw (or choose to see at that time) in the whole marriage was that we ill treat her (she is unemployed and she does nothing at home - the rest of us cook and clean after her) , she choose to see my brother was bad to her (I can vouch he treats her better than his own family) and she cry wolf all the time, complain about SG no good, SG people stupid, SG govt sux, SG weather lousy, SG food not to her liking, my family religion sux and etc. Non-stop complain - negative to infinity. Every 2 weeks she scream divorce - it was hell for everyone. My mom got so tired of her endless complains and we had to humour/entertain her so much in the end, my mom felt there is no way this r/s will last. In the end, the woman herself called to divorce because my bro was taking care of their kid at home while she insist for him to drive all the way to M'sia to fetch her past midnight. Yes, she still act like she's single and go out till am hours and no one dare to say her.
anyway i'm not advocating going into marriage thinking of divorce, i am saying plan for contigencies..... while its nice and good to think that your marriage will last realise that things do not always end the way you like it to( points to the number of divorce cases, there is no gurantee that you wont become one of them)
poorness of choice? perhaps, but then sometimes you wont know until the real thing comes about, you can be cheated however good you are.......
erm about whether i am ready to be attached..... i never said i was ready just that i wanted to and your analysis about me(even if it is true) was based on marriage views not attachment
your brother all i can say is my condolences......... not sure if it was your brother being dumb or that the women was.......... maybe both? -
It's easy to fall into a relationship, but to get out from the relationship will bring the consequence of pain and recurrent thoughts of guilt. As for the above example, I feel sorry for mistyblue with the problems that she has to go through together with the family.
As a neigboring country to Singapore (M'sia), and not to degrade other members from other neigboring countries in SEA, we see the same thing happening here as well. PRC, HK and Taiwan girls who gets attached here is a common sight, and the consequence that follow, though not fully 100% is similar. Though I may not have any examples, but I do hear these things occurring over and over again.
About terms in degradation of our own girls, so far, I've not heard much, but I'm sure, everywhere is the same no matter where we are. -
Damn mistyblue.
Thats some harsh shit but the truth of reality itself. You should have spanked that bitche all the way back to taiwan. smack some of that crap out of her and shove a monkey or two up her arse.
Anyway my advise is don't get married unless you are very sure.And I mean very very VERY sure. The worst thing in singapore is even if its her fault you have to pay her fudging alimony till the day you crock it. Sg guys are getting the short end of the stick in this regard. Damn woman's charter.
Now i am all for protecting the woman's right and all but with thise charter it is easily open for abuse by the female species if she wishes to do any major damage. Now she can go cheat on her husband and when found out still get alimony from his sorry arse. Worst off if when in the marriage the guy is doing all the hard work while the woman is at home or out with her friends, since if they already so bitchy sure got maids to do all the housework. I think its high time they government think about amending this charter to counteract such abuse.
Well that all said, I do hope we all find a loving and honest partner till the day we die. but the reality of it is it ain't going to happen to most of us. so be warned. and thread the fates of marriage on your own peril.
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hmm..after seeing so much i m still confused.. cos been thinking and feeling so for quite some time..maybe i should not dwell too much on it..
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think twice or thrice....getting married is like a system administrator geting downgraded to only user rights... big big lugi on freedom...