Any one in situation like this?
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Lets say, u are married.. but u have lost dat feeling for ur spouse.. But u know u can never leave her becos of the things she have gone thru with u or done for u. What would u do?
Look for another lady who are in the same situation as you? Someone who have dat that feeling for her husband but can neber leave him due to certain reasons? so u 2 can be a pair??
Sovil -
try AA forums.
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wats AA forum?
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Talk to your wife and rekindle things.Originally posted by sovil:Lets say, u are married.. but u have lost dat feeling for ur spouse.. But u know u can never leave her becos of the things she have gone thru with u or done for u. What would u do?
Look for another lady who are in the same situation as you? Someone who have dat that feeling for her husband but can neber leave him due to certain reasons? so u 2 can be a pair??
Sovil
If your marriage has become a habit rather than a joy and the memories are the only things holding you back from divorce then by all means go ahead.
Unless you have children, then you should consider what you would feel if your father did that to your mother.
No offense, but children always suffer. -
I dunoe.. but probably there are ladies out there who do have this kinda feeling in them. In such case wouldnt pairing them up solve such problem? They would get emotionaly satisfied n they wont hurt their spouse?
I believe both party would try their best to keep it a secret so thgs may just go on... They are still with thier spouse n they can have their LOVE again? -
Its called the 7 year itch.Originally posted by sovil:I dunoe.. but probably there are ladies out there who do have this kinda feeling in them. In such case wouldnt pairing them up solve such problem? They would get emotionaly satisfied n they wont hurt their spouse?
I believe both party would try their best to keep it a secret so thgs may just go on... They are still with thier spouse n they can have their LOVE again?
Im sure there are ladies out there that think this way. Everything would be fine and dandy till one of you develops real feelings for each other. Love is a hard thing to keep under wraps. Then it becomes complicated.
Personal advice. Like I said, if the love has died and there isnt any children, go ahead. Better late than never.
For all you know, your wife may be thinking the same thing, or she may already be a step ahead of you. Go have a good talk if this affects you.
I have no idea what the AA forums are. I just joined last night. -
be a man
stay with your spouse -
I'm not married yet but i know that it's easier to start a relationship than to maintain it. Let's say you really look for a new spouse and etc but do u think the new relationship will last?
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urgh.. another of those idiots.
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i can tell you the ending if you have an affair with another lady outside.
your wife will know about sooner or later. she will be in shock and surprise, she will divorce and you have to pay her money monthly.
If you have the spare cash and is a strong will person you can try.
In singapore the law supports ladies if you try anything funny, o well, lets say you got to pay for it 'monthly' -
Originally posted by drx:
is a fair deal, to prevent man who love to find excuse to divoice their wife
In singapore the law supports ladies if you try anything funny, o well, lets say you got to pay for it 'monthly' [/b]
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sad to hear that..........try talking to your wife about your feel, as long no party involve there is hope of salvage..........................Originally posted by sovil:Lets say, u are married.. but u have lost dat feeling for ur spouse.. But u know u can never leave her becos of the things she have gone thru with u or done for u. What would u do?
Look for another lady who are in the same situation as you? Someone who have dat that feeling for her husband but can neber leave him due to certain reasons? so u 2 can be a pair??
Sovil
looking for another to replace the feel is a very SILLY things to do...........don even think about it...............and remember the vow u and ur wife made during marriage, clinch on to it................. -
in this kinda situation, where i have no more feelings for my spouse, i would choose to divorce him, even if we have kids togather...
many ppl think that the kids will suffer, but i think otherwise...if they see that their parents aren't communicating at all, or say even quarrel at times, do you think the kids will be happy to live in such environment? They could have become victims; beaten up by parents or any unhealthy upbringing that may follow... They might even end up having phobia in setting up their own familes when they grow up...
After divorcing, the kids may still go out with both parents...they wouldn't be stuck in between like when they are in the house when both parents are still living togather but without any harmony...
we only live once, and of cos we do not wish to see familes breaking down and ultimately leading to divorce...but we have to be rational too, know what we want and exactly how we feel towards each other in the marriage, if things aren't going well; no more feelings kinda stuffs, why still choose to be togather and let both parties suffer? Face the fact and have things in control, live the life u want it to be and choose the happier path, whatever might be
The moral of the story is......be rational
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sorry i'm not trying to be rude, pardon my bluntness.........human are very sensitive and emotional creature, easily to let our feeling run......... if we are to let our feeling rule our life then advsersity will take place...................think about it, if each time the feel is gone and the only way out is divorce then sad to say we might end up divorce many time in our life..............marriage involve - feel, love and repsonsible......we are accountable for our choice and actions.Originally posted by snowmaiden:in this kinda situation, where i have no more feelings for my spouse, i would choose to divorce him, even if we have kids togather...
many ppl think that the kids will suffer, but i think otherwise...if they see that their parents aren't communicating at all, or say even quarrel at times, do you think the kids will be happy to live in such environment? They could have become victims; beaten up by parents or any unhealthy upbringing that may follow... They might even end up having phobia in setting up their own familes when they grow up...
After divorcing, the kids may still go out with both parents...they wouldn't be stuck in between like when they are in the house when both parents are still living togather but without any harmony...
we only live once, and of cos we do not wish to see familes breaking down and ultimately leading to divorce...but we have to be rational too, know what we want and exactly how we feel towards each other in the marriage, if things aren't going well; no more feelings kinda stuffs, why still choose to be togather and let both parties suffer? Face the fact and have things in control, live the life u want it to be and choose the happier path, whatever might be
The moral of the story is......be rational
talking about children, we bring them to this world, is our duty to shower love and be their guide as they growp up, so i guess we need to respect and concern about their feel when ma ma and pa pa making decision.......be it how young they are.............. -
I certainly agree with what u mentioned and i understand what's the main aim u're driving at....I'm a "guo lai ren"....im saying all this from my experience.Originally posted by piggy_777:sorry i'm not trying to be rude, pardon my bluntness.........human are very sensitive and emotional creature, easily to let our feeling run......... if we are to let our feeling rule our life then advsersity will take place...................think about it, if each time the feel is gone and the only way out is divorce then sad to say we might end up divorce many time in our life..............marriage involve - feel, love and repsonsible......we are accountable for our choice and actions.
talking about children, we bring them to this world, is our duty to shower love and be their guide as they growp up, so i guess we need to respect and concern about their feel when ma ma and pa pa making decision.......be it how young they are..............
I dun deny that humans are sensitive and nothing can be done if it's gonna rely on pure feelings alone, that's why i always believe one has to be rational when handling such sensitive issues...
if one marriage has inevitably broken down, and leads to divorce, i urge both parties learn from it and never let the same mistakes happen again in the next marriage if there is ever one in the future...
and of cos i do not mean to say that one get into a marriage as and when they like and turn to divorce when there're no more feelings for each other...this has to be based on individual's case...some of the divorces are due to immaturity, lack of communication etc....so we have to gauge the severity of how the marriage has broken down, cannot happy happy go for divorce lah haha...always seek elderly and closed friends advises and ask urself these qns:
- can i carry on stay with this person for the rest of my life; having to care and show him/her concern?
- do i still have mutual feelings for that person?
- is there anything to be done to help save the mariage?
- how would the kids react if there really is a divorce,
etc etc
One could also seek a marriage consultant before deciding on anything...most imptly is to have a open and honest talk between the couple...
let there be peace........ -
So i guess the reason the rate of divorce is high is becos Divorce is easily on the table as a choice when things goes wrong.
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Originally posted by snowmaiden:I certainly agree with what u mentioned and i understand what's the main aim u're driving at....I'm a "guo lai ren"....im saying all this from my experience.
I dun deny that humans are sensitive and nothing can be done if it's gonna rely on pure feelings alone, that's why i always believe one has to be rational when handling such sensitive issues...
if one marriage has inevitably broken down, and leads to divorce, i urge both parties learn from it and never let the same mistakes happen again in the next marriage if there is ever one in the future...
and of cos i do not mean to say that one get into a marriage as and when they like and turn to divorce when there're no more feelings for each other...this has to be based on individual's case...some of the divorces are due to immaturity, lack of communication etc....so we have to gauge the severity of how the marriage has broken down, cannot happy happy go for divorce lah haha...always seek elderly and closed friends advises and ask urself these qns:
- can i carry on stay with this person for the rest of my life; having to care and show him/her concern?
- do i still have mutual feelings for that person?
- is there anything to be done to help save the mariage?
- how would the kids react if there really is a divorce,
etc etc
One could also seek a marriage consultant before deciding on anything...most imptly is to have a open and honest talk between the couple...
let there be peace........
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can say that ba.......as what i have mentioned, as long no third party involve still can salvage the situation, bring the problem to light and discuss with your wife before things turn worse.....................Originally posted by sovil:So i guess the reason the rate of divorce is high is becos Divorce is easily on the table as a choice when things goes wrong. -
question urself why and what goes wrong, always the best way
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stick to her... Remember...whatever is happening now is going to happen again next time. You are bored by present one... will repeat again with ur next one.
There are 2 choices. First.... Stay and try to think how to have interesting time with her (maybe consider do things u havent done 2gether.. goin for trip, holiday, think about better, more fun sex together etc)... or second.. leave her now.. look for another one and will ended up feel the same thing like what u r thinking now (boring etc).. only that u get much less respect by all people around you. As a man, should be able to think for long term.