"I don't want to turn into one of those bitter old b*****ds"
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CARRAGHER THINKING ABOUT LIFE AWAY FROM LIVERPOOL
No point going to a club fighting relegation
CARRAGHER: Exclusive News of the World interview"I don't want to turn into one of those bitter old b*****ds"JAMIE CARRAGHER has a recurring nightmare. He's sitting in the Anfield dressing-room, kitted out, fully fit and mentally prepared for his 700th game. The Liverpool manager reads out 11 names. Carragher isn't among them.
What makes this vision more frightening is that it's no mere dream. It's a premonition. Carragher is increasingly aware of his football mortality. He's withstood numerous challenges in his career, but getting older is the one which will defeat him.
He turned 32 last month. He describes himself as 'nearly 33'. The nightmare isn't Carragher's alone. When he and Steven Gerrard move into the former players' lounge, the sense of loss will be profound among team-mates, staff, supporters and journalists.
The pair have embodied their club for so long, life without them is the subject at Anfield that dare not speak its name. The duo hoped their twilight years on Merseyside would bring the elusive league title, not another scrap for fourth place. But Carragher is still looking forward as well as reflecting proudly on the past.
"I don't want to turn into one of those bitter old b*****ds who's moaning because he's not playing," he says. "I first played for a team when I was five. All I've known for every week of my life is there is a game or two to play. The idea of that being taken away terrifies me.
"I know what I can be like if I'm not playing. "If I trained all week and didn't play on the Saturday, I don't know how I'd handle it. "I look at the way Ricardo Carvalho plays for Chelsea now and I appreciate that kind of role. He plays five or so games, then he gets taken out for a rest and he's immediately brought back in again.
"It's a bit different when you know you're No1 choice but being protected than if you're just seen as back-up, waiting for someone to be injured. "The idea of being described as a 'squad player' doesn't appeal to me.
"I dread to think the time might come to play somewhere other than Liverpool. For as long as I'm good enough to be in the team here, I'm playing and I feel physically I can do myself justice, there's nowhere else I'd want to be.
"But like anyone at this stage of their career, I have no choice but think about the possibilities beyond that. "I've only ever known one club, but I'm interested in how other clubs operate. There's more to football than The Liverpool Way and I'd like to hear different ideas."
In recent years, Robbie Fowler has settled in Australia, while David Beckham's move to LA Galaxy raised the profile of English football in America. It's a route Carragher may consider. "An experience like that appeals to me," he says.
"The only thing that might put me off is whether the kids and family would want to move. "But I like the idea that when I've gone as far as I can at Liverpool I could enjoy that kind of vastly different experience.
"Sometimes you feel something new is exciting. If I did play anywhere else I think that's the route I'd look at. "It wouldn't be for football reasons, but to get a sense of a different way of life. "I'm not sure I'd get anything out of playing for a Premier League team struggling in mid-table or fighting relegation. "I'd get no satisfaction and wouldn't see the point of putting myself through it. I'd just be giving my body a battering, really."
Standards
Performing heroically to keep Liverpool's foundations firm has become such a habit to Carragher and Gerrard, there is always 'something wrong with them' when standards slip.
The balance is less in their favour when plaudits are flying. It's presumed they're too modest, possess too broad shoulders and are, well, a bit too Scouse to care if they're being praised. That's never been more apparent than this season.
Carragher was singled out for early mishaps, but there's been precious little recognition for his return to form recently. When Liverpool decide their Player of the Season, he'll still be alongside Pepe Reina, Javier Mascherano and the improving Lucas as a contender.
"I had to take things on the chin when I was getting stick, but I was there every week, home and away and in the Carling Cup. I had the bottle to be there for the team," he says.
"The whole team wasn't playing well at the start of the season. Understandably it was me, Stevie, and Javier Mascherano people were looking at. "I'm pleased by how I reacted to it, especially in some of the big games we've played recently.
"When you get to my age you're taking it a year at a time so I get pride out of every good performance. "It may sound strange because of the year we've had, but I'm proud of a lot of this season too.
"I fought to get my form back. I could have hidden or taken myself out of the firing line as I know a lot of players do. I wanted to be out there and now I feel I've come out the other side.
"I think when me and Stevie aren't around in five years' time, people will look back at the last few years and recognise how much we gave for the club. "It's unbelievable some of the criticism Stevie gets sometimes, given his influence on the trophies we've won.
"In football, generally people remember you more fondly when you're not there any more. "Loyalty is taken for granted in the local lads, not just at Liverpool but at all clubs.
"We're the ones people want to sort things out because we know what it means to the supporters. You're not seen as a big star everyone wants to feel welcome. You're part of the furniture so people don't get as excited by the fact you're here.
"Plenty of players I've worked with have developed better reputations as Liverpool players after they've left. "Fans tend to remember the good times. Lads who have left us get talked up, but they didn't always set the place alight when they were here.
"I don't think it helps to dwell on those who have left. "I've heard the arguments about what would have happened had we kept Xabi Alonso this season. "Xabi is a good mate of mine and a great player. I was disappointed when he left. "He was here for five years and he great for us, but we didn't win the league during that time, did we?
"There's no way you can say if he was here we'd win the league. There's more to it than that. "You can't keep looking back like that. I wish Kenny Dalglish and Ian Rush were still in the team too so you might as well be arguing we'd win the league if we still had them."
Desperate
As Liverpool test their recent revival at Manchester City today, it will become clearer if Carragher's final years at Anfield will be as part of the elite.
From this summer onwards, he will be measuring his career season-by-season. "I'm as desperate as ever to win the league," he says. "I'm sure at the start of next season you'll hear all of us saying we want to be fighting for the title again.
"To do that we'll have to strengthen the squad. "You have to be realistic and recognise over the course of the season you're not going to get that first 11 on the pitch every week so the back- up has to be strong.
"I'm sure there will be changes in the summer, and the main thing for us is keeping the top players here. "There are times you feel you're a long way off, but it may only need some top-class additions for us to get back up there. "I'd say we need two or three good buys and we wouldn't be as far away as many think. "We just need beefing up. I know next year we don't want to be fighting for fourth again.
"We've shown again this season that when the first 11 is fit we can give a game to anyone. That showed when we beat Manchester United, Everton, Spurs and Villa. "There are teams trying to get our place in the top four, but we've shown so far we're still up there. "But I've reached the stage now where if winning the league doesn't happen I have to be philosophical about it. I know the years are running out.
"I've achieved a lot in the game and I wouldn't swap my Champions League winners' medal for the Premier League. No chance. "Given the criticism we've had for events on and off the pitch, it's been a real slog for us all season so we'll have done well if we qualify for the Champions League.
"We were looking for more but we'd now be delighted with fourth and it would give us something to build on next season. "For now we've just got to deal with the reality that we're in a four-way fight for fourth. City are a big threat. Roberto Mancini did fantastically well at Inter Milan and won trophies at Fiorentina and Lazio.
"He'll be looking to make a statement and City know getting in the Champions League is the way to do that.
"It's a worry because although we could finish fourth we could just as easily be seventh. I just hope the experience we've got and the momentum we usually get over the last 12 games each season carries us through."
Liverpool without Champions League football is as unpalatable a prospect as Anfield without Carragher barking his instructions and Gerrard rampaging through midfield.
"We've been in our prime at Liverpool. The club is going to need a few more players coming through the youth ranks who know as much as we do about what playing for this club is all about.
"I wonder what Merseyside derbies will be like in five years' time if there are no local players in the team?"
They'll be a nightmare, Jamie. A nightmare.