Did you tell your Husband/Wife you married them because ..
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eeeeeeeeeeks so scary
最毒妇人心
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Hmm.....the truth hurts........
best not to say......so yah, pls close this thread....
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Originally posted by Arapahoe:
Look at it the other way round...if she is 10 some guy would have swept her feet....but it seemed thats not the case. So she only barks....at night.
10.
Pedobear will have swept her feet
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Originally posted by fireng:
Actually this type of thing is very common.
People settle for the 2nd best job, 2nd best house, 2nd best wife/husband..
no big deal..
Fireng,what you said makes sense and is true for almost everybody.
Guess the thing is, is that if your spouse is not the one you really truly want, but the guy/gal you broke up with before you got married is, then sooner or later, you're not going to be able to fake being 100% in lurrrvvvv and you could be unhappy, simply existing. I know some people who are like that.
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Originally posted by OneWithTheForce:
Fireng,what you said makes sense and is true for almost everybody.
Guess the thing is, is that if your spouse is not the one you really truly want, but the guy/gal you broke up with before you got married is, then sooner or later, you're not going to be able to fake being 100% in lurrrvvvv and you could be unhappy, simply existing. I know some people who are like that.
Yoda, you are not. -
Here's the common getting married because:
1) I am pregnant.
2) Either one of us need to run away from our parents
3) My mama says she wants to see grandchildren before she dies.
4) Going overseas to study, and needing your family to sponsor me to follow you.
5) I want to keep my hdb flat after my wife/husband divorce me, and I do not have the finances or age to keep the flat as a single owner yet.
6) My mama is old, I am old. I need you (viet/china) to help look after my aged parents and myself. Or in some of recently heard cases when a Singaporean ah pek tells his sister in the bus, overheard by some club 30 fellas ("But she says she loves me!)
(My own experience was: She was conned to marry her china b/f or husband when she was very young, and when the guy died, she has to come to singapore to find a job as a waitress to support her two children, father, father in law, mother, mother in law, brothers and all those extended family siblings. Note: China men all seems to dies off very young.)
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Haiz........
Miss the bus means you stand alone at the bus stop till you meet your maker.
Life's a journey, even if you don't get onto the correct bus that gets you to where you wanna go, but at least your are still travelling.
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Originally posted by OneWithTheForce:
Fireng,what you said makes sense and is true for almost everybody.
Guess the thing is, is that if your spouse is not the one you really truly want, but the guy/gal you broke up with before you got married is, then sooner or later, you're not going to be able to fake being 100% in lurrrvvvv and you could be unhappy, simply existing. I know some people who are like that.
how about the saying "it is better to be loved than to be love"
You may not really like your spouse but your spouse likes you very much and treats you very well.
sooner or later you are going to be touched by his/her action and truly fall in love with him/her
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Originally posted by fireng:
how about the saying "it is better to be loved than to be love"
You may not really like your spouse but your spouse likes you very much and treats you very well.
sooner or later you are going to be touched by his/her action and truly fall in love with him/her
Maybe this rule best be confine to mail order brides and forced marriages due to bopiency.
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Originally posted by OneWithTheForce:
One thing I noticed as I got older was that girls who were getting older, read- late 20's and 30's were marrying guys who they wouldnt have even considered 2 to 3 years beforehand. It was pretty obvious to anyone who knew them that she was settling in order to not miss out.
I know some people who settled and they arent happy. Sure, they have the social comfort of not being single, but they arent happy. They just carry on with life and look after the kids.
My question to those who "settle" for a guy, instead of getting the guy they'd really like to have (or, if you're a guy, and you settled for your "next best" wife), is did you tell your spouse that you would prefer someone else, but you want to get married, so settled for them?
Nope. I'm not that desperate to get married.
If I didn't meet my husband, I wouldn't have gotten married. I don't believe in settling for a guy so that I'm not left on the shelf.
Ironically, we actually planned to get married later but due to us buying a flat we like earlier than expected, we got married earlier, which on hindsight is a good thing coz flats are so bloody expensive now.
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Hahaha... I seriously find this topic amusing.
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firstly, i think everyone whom is getting married, would be/might be just satisfied with their partner unless its a force marriage.definitely someone out there would be better than your own husband/wife what.
and sometime later after the marriage, like 20+ down the road, with or without kids, that 'feeling' you use to have for your partner wouldnt be the same. -
*snort*
How many of us are born with the amazing decision making skills such that the person whom we marry will be our 'first choice' in relationships? Or have such a stagnant life that our choices should never change?
Ultimately, 2nd choice or 3rd choice or 4th choice - doesn't necessarily mean it isn't the BEST choice!
So it doesn't mean that if someone chooses a person he/she might not have chosen before, it means he/she is settling. It merely means that with the additional life experience, the choices have changed.
And unless the couple continue to put in effort to MAKE this decision work out (whether your partner is first or second or whaatever), else no matter first or last choice, a marriage would never work.
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No one can live on love and fresh air alone.
Really.
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Used to date a girl before my wife. She was good to me in every aspect but somehow though we came to marriage discussion, I didn't feel in love. Then came my wife. In fact, every aspect of our character shows we are at conflict but we got married. I believe there's no such things as "opportunity cost" when marriage is involved. I can lose everything in this world but I know they can be gotten back but I will never get my dear wife again. Nowadays we still argue intensely over issues but no matter what might occur, I treasure my marriage and adore my wife.
Everytime my wife asked me if she's pretty, I assured her, "Of course you are. The prettiest in fact. Why would I settle for second best?"