something i thought of in a few minutes
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do you remember the day i met you
lying on the grass under the shade of the raintree
watching the clouds pass by
the cool breeze made me slept
i awoke to a beautiful voice
more melodious than the nightingale singing
i looked around for the source
a sweet soothing sound mere mortals could not make
that was when i noticed you
standing against the sun
you were heaven sent
i called out to you
and just like an angel
you floated down to me
days weeks months years passed
we spent our time together
be it on the gentle slopes of a hill
or in the soft warm hay
sleepin together in each other's arms
the earth was our bed
and the star studded sky our blanket
till one fine day
you had to return home you said
i was befuddled
we were meant to be together
always and forever
i cried out in anger and cursed the gods
for this cruel twist of fate
and the illness they had given you
a pile of keepsakes remind me everyday
your words are like the gentle kisses you pepper on my cheek
eyes more beautiful than the moon
beautiful hair billowing in the spring breeze
your melodious voice echoing within the depths of my heart
my memories of you clear as a lake
i miss you
not exactly a poem. apologies if i posted in the wrong place.
just some thoughts of mine influenced from my so far single life.
so what do you guys think. any suggestions. how to improve etc. like what is this exactly? more of a story i suppose with poor paragraphing
and im just 17 year old engineering student. not a professional poet or author so dun be too harsh.
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tell me what you think of it leh. i wanna know what you think.
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yesh, i do.
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A very familiar and much-used theme...
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missing a lady?
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really familiar.... sounds more like a prose than a poem tho...
paiseh i din quite like it... too mushy too "aged"... like love stories in the era of 30s, 40s [eg. sound of music]... i can't really connect to it... -
ahahahahahhahaha.... advertising your "old age"???Originally posted by tare:really familiar.... sounds more like a prose than a poem tho...
paiseh i din quite like it... too mushy too "aged"... like love stories in the era of 30s, 40s [eg. sound of music]... i can't really connect to it... -
considering the fact i need a walking stick now, yesOriginally posted by KittynMeow:ahahahahahhahaha.... advertising your "old age"???
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it's good to be old. haOriginally posted by tare:considering the fact i need a walking stick now, yes -
*pat pat*Originally posted by tare:considering the fact i need a walking stick now, yes
Hope you get well soon from your back problems.... -
i was kind of inspired by the country side. wouldnt it be nice to lie in a meadow of flowers and get away from the town/city just for abit.
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I wish to find such places in Singapore too. Getting quite sick of living in a city.Originally posted by cApitaland:i was kind of inspired by the country side. wouldnt it be nice to lie in a meadow of flowers and get away from the town/city just for abit.
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my idea of a "get away from the town/city" would be more like a secluded beach or a deep forest... hahahaha... countryside is still a little too close to civilisation... hahahaha