Some queries
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What are the Christian's views on masturbation and getting a girl friend that is a free thinker or of other religion?
Not posting dirty...so relax... 'cause a friend of mine ask me such stuff I dunno how to answer -
my humble contribution
i know of x-tians (guys) who have ONS with girls of his church -
Fireice...me kenna dump...damn sianz....
anyway back to topic... some churches seem damn strict on couples being of the same religion...
and with masturbation... it is damn vague itself... no christian can yet give me a satisfactory answer -
wah....tt day u mentioned "potential gf"......no no more liao eh?Originally posted by greengoblin:Fireice...me kenna dump...damn sianz....
anyway back to topic... some churches seem damn strict on couples being of the same religion...
and with masturbation... it is damn vague itself... no christian can yet give me a satisfactory answer
(for this, u might wanna PM me so as not to spoil the discussion)
yah lah...depends on the church....
is there any satisfactory ans in the first place?
some churches dun allow but there are ppl who still do it, but does not admit.....and there are ppl who dun mind admitting cos they think it's a physical release, not a spiritual betrayal.....
on this topic, i jus recalled my fren telling me tt got this X-tian association tt requires members to report the lumber of times they had sex with their spouse.................... -
Why do you masturbate? Are you dependant on it to find 'happiness'?
What does marriage mean to you? How does a couple make decisions? How do you resolve or overcome problems? Will you let your children choose what religion they believe in? When religious commitments clashes with your planned appointments, who needs to compromise?\
Think about these questions, maybe you'll find a clearer answer. -
Why do christian scriptures condemn masturbation ? Wat harm does it done ? It sure give some peopel happiness, or at least remove their sexual urges. Even if u don't masturbate, u will still be wasting your seeds in wet dreams.
BTW tis seems similar to a thread in chitchat before
Too bad it is locked away now. -
This is a common problem that I find which also frustrates new born Christians...for one...do they have the capacity even to think of such questions? If I talk about masturbation...what I need is solid words from the Bible that Masturbation is wrong and that's it... like in the 10 commandments Thou Shalt not Kill or Thou Shalt not Covet Thy Neighbour's wife. Answering in the form of rhetorical questions does not help the new born at all. What they need is guidance.Originally posted by sillyme:Why do you masturbate? Are you dependant on it to find 'happiness'?
What does marriage mean to you? How does a couple make decisions? How do you resolve or overcome problems? Will you let your children choose what religion they believe in? When religious commitments clashes with your planned appointments, who needs to compromise?\
Think about these questions, maybe you'll find a clearer answer. -
http://www.pornnomore.com/sinsagainstchastity.htm
Take a read at this site. It will prove useful for you. -
Gen. 38: 7-10
(7) And Her, the firstborn of Juda, was wicked in the sight of the Lord: and was slain by him.
(
Juda therefore said to Onan his son: Go in to thy brother's wife and marry her, that thou mayst raise seed to thy brother.
(9) He, knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother's wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother's name.
(10) And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing. -
Masturbation are of coz not the 'right' thing to do.....why not ask your fren to channel his energies to other activities insteadOriginally posted by greengoblin:What are the Christian's views on masturbation and getting a girl friend that is a free thinker or of other religion?
Not posting dirty...so relax... 'cause a friend of mine ask me such stuff I dunno how to answer
As to getting a girl friend who is a free thinker or of other religion, I think if your friend is really serious in settling down with him or her in the future, there would be a BIG PROBLEM coz christians are not allowed to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
I faced the problem like ur friend did. My gf was a devout christian and she would only have a christian as a bf. I love my gf and I have decided to follow her and believe together with her (I accepted the lord while in sec sch but had lost faith before). If everything turns out well, we hope to have a happy christian family when we get married as planned. -
Gen. 38: 7-10
I had reply to tis before, but nevertheless I will do it again.
(7) And Her, the firstborn of Juda, was wicked in the sight of the Lord: and was slain by him.
( Juda therefore said to Onan his son: Go in to thy brother's wife and marry her, that thou mayst raise seed to thy brother.
(9) He, knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother's wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother's name.
(10) And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing.
Reading literally, god is not against masturbation. He is against "withdrawal" after having sex. Is Onan masturbating ? With Juda wife ? No. Then how come u can twist the words and say it is about masturbation ?
Second, even if u don't masturbate, the "seed" is still going to be wasted in wet dreams. So wat does tat means ? either God has committed a terrible sin by making all men having wet dreams or god want men to have sex with women before they have a wet dream, and they must ensure all the "seed" went into the women fully without a drop wasted.
Lastly, a cruel act is again display by god for killing onan without warning... poor onan, he don't even know why he die.... -
Masturbation are of coz not the 'right' thing to do.....why not ask your fren to channel his energies to other activities instead
Ehh... why don't u tell me why it is not a right thing ? Wat harm does it cause ? More people masturbate than those who do not. Why is it such a case ?As to getting a girl friend who is a free thinker or of other religion, I think if your friend is really serious in settling down with him or her in the future, there would be a BIG PROBLEM coz christians are not allowed to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
Aii... religion is always a big hurdle for true love.I faced the problem like ur friend did. My gf was a devout christian and she would only have a christian as a bf. I love my gf and I have decided to follow her and believe together with her (I accepted the lord while in sec sch but had lost faith before). If everything turns out well, we hope to have a happy christian family when we get married as planned.
frankly, do u believe just because u want to be with your gf ? I thought when one believes, he do it because he felt tat all the things written by the scriptures r true, all the events had really happened as described then. I mean, don't u feel terrible having to compromise your time, money and freedom just to follow a custom u don't see necessary or meaningful ? Well it is your life anyway.... -
I will understand why a Christian wants his life partner to be a Christian... it will be to mutally edify and strengthen each other in the Lord. However, what if a Christian loves a non-Christian and vice versa... isn't it plainly wrong to break them aprt just because of an unequally yoked thingy?
As to masturbation, that verse never even mentioned masturbation at all... I do interpret it as withdrawal and letting the semen drip on the ground.. Why in the hell will some one in the process of copulation, wank himself like crazy and drip his semen on the floor or mat or whatever? Even so...that verse was condemning him for not serving God's purpose of propagating his brother's line and not masturbation. That passage is quoted out of context in my view. -
The reason behind the unequally yoke verse is not a verse about caste or class or categories or anything. It is a verse about priorities and values in life.Originally posted by greengoblin:I will understand why a Christian wants his life partner to be a Christian... it will be to mutally edify and strengthen each other in the Lord. However, what if a Christian loves a non-Christian and vice versa... isn't it plainly wrong to break them aprt just because of an unequally yoked thingy?
As to masturbation, that verse never even mentioned masturbation at all... I do interpret it as withdrawal and letting the semen drip on the ground.. Why in the hell will some one in the process of copulation, wank himself like crazy and drip his semen on the floor or mat or whatever? Even so...that verse was condemning him for not serving God's purpose of propagating his brother's line and not masturbation. That passage is quoted out of context in my view.
Imagine a very staunch christian getting married to a free thinker or any other person of any other beliefs. One day, when your child is born, you insist on getting ur child baptised, but your wife dun wan, what will you do? One day, when you wanna go church on Sunday, but your wife feels that it should be a day where u accompnay her, what will you do? One day, when you suddenly feel the call of God to go to Africa as a missionary and leave your job, how do your wife will understand?
Remember here, GOD is not condemning people of other religions. He is talking about the clashes that might happen if such an union happens. In every God's commands and advices, there lies the issue of choice. You can choose to go the way God advises but you can choose not to. Thus in every choice you made, you will reap the benefits but you should also suffer consequences if any. I think that is only fair. Therefore, the issue now is no longer the verse, the issue here is what you wanna choose. God says "hey I think you better not do such a thing, it may have such consequences." But now, if you think you can bear with the consequences and not take the advice, its your choice.
in every command that God gives, the reason is love not punishment. He asked us not to murder not because so that he can throw us into the lake of fire but to spare us from the pain of thedeath penalty. He commanded us to not store treasures on earth not because He wan us to be poor but He does not wan us to be caught up in the pain of the rat race. God is love and if we believe that, then we believe His commands is because of love but alas, love also means giving us a choice.
So well my friend, its your choice in such matters but you already heard what God advises, the ball is in our courts now
MASTURBATION
Masturbation is an interesting topic.
Lets look at this verse.
Matt 5:28
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Now let us be frank here. I struggle with masturbation too. When we masturbate, tell me what is our minds? i dun think, while we are masturbating we are thinking about our reports, or our bank accounts or our homework or the KFC Chicken wings or anything. Most likely, while you are MASTURBATING, you are likely to be visualising a sexual act with a girl or you are looking at a porn pic or a pic and fantasising about it. I say mostly becos I know of some weird things that people masturbate to but in most cases, I would say what I say its true. WE form images in our mind. And if we link back to the verse up there, we would understand why, indirectly, masturbation is not encouraged. -
I believe most of those so called unequally yoked people will be snared by these two verses in their seeming contradiction
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?
And what communion has light with darkness?
II Corinthians 6:14
and
And a woman who has a husband who does not believe,
if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife,
and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband;
otherwise your children will be unclean,
but now they are holy.
I Corinthians 7:13-1
How to you come to a common position on these. And how do a person knows if he or she loves a person? Of course every Christian will desire to have a Christian spouse...but what if that is not possible i.e... he doesn't have much Christian friends to begin with and his viewpoints of life and prioirites are different? That can be abit hard. What I do not like about those so called staunch Christians is they use II Corinthians 6:14 to condemn a person who is in a relationship with a non believer. Love in the first place is not so simple. Can I just leave a person I love just because of that? I don't think so.
Gas... perhaps my interpretation of the bible is a little different from yours. Mine is a cause and effect thingy. If you do not do A then B will happen to you. This could be a wrong interpretation...but...I don't know.... I do not know what it is to love anymore...I don't even know who I am so how can I love another?
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With regards to masturbation then, how should a Christian reconcile to it such that it will not dampen his faith in God.
I understand there are individuals who have problems in natural semen emission and they rely on masturbation to relieve their tension. How then should a Christian come to terms with this? -
How about when females masturbate?Originally posted by gasband:Matt 5:28
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
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Masturbation is an interesting topic.
Someone has used tat phrase on me too before.
Lets look at this verse.
Matt 5:28
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Now let us be frank here. I struggle with masturbation too. When we masturbate, tell me what is our minds? i dun think, while we are masturbating we are thinking about our reports, or our bank accounts or our homework or the KFC Chicken wings or anything. Most likely, while you are MASTURBATING, you are likely to be visualising a sexual act with a girl or you are looking at a porn pic or a pic and fantasising about it. I say mostly becos I know of some weird things that people masturbate to but in most cases, I would say what I say its true. WE form images in our mind. And if we link back to the verse up there, we would understand why, indirectly, masturbation is not encouraged.
I hope u realise tat thinking of lust and masturbation r again 2 different items. If u think tat we should stop people from lusting, it is impossible. When men see a women wears a sexy outfit, they will mentally think of lust even though they do not masturbate. When a guy see a beautiful girl, he will still think of the same thing too. How to prevent it ? Cover the women from head to toes or making men blind ? Do u think just by banning masturbation u do not commit this sin ? Sorry man, this sin has further impact than u think. Masturbation is just a subset of it. When men r having wet dreams, they too think of lust. How to prevent tat ? If u want to ban masturbation just because of the above statement, then it should be fair to force women to wear clothes tat only exposes their eyes too or make men blind. Will tat be rational ?
Wat has the thought of lust or desire for flesh wrong in anything ? Everyone thinks of "lust" since all men and women r built tis way. I believe all men, even the pope think lustfully at some point in time. Wat harm has it done ? If there is no lust in the world, do u think people will want to get marry or have kids ?
If u want to blame, blame the maker. He create lust so that relationship between men and women becomes more interesting. Yet u guys want to clamp it down and make people do the impossible. -
I understand the problems faced by my gf and the only way to be with her is to believe with her. Sometimes in life we have to compromise things. She will never go out with anyone who is a non-christian.Originally posted by stupidissmart:frankly, do u believe just because u want to be with your gf ? I thought when one believes, he do it because he felt tat all the things written by the scriptures r true, all the events had really happened as described then. I mean, don't u feel terrible having to compromise your time, money and freedom just to follow a custom u don't see necessary or meaningful ? Well it is your life anyway.... -
I think u r really affected by all these. As the man and the christian in the relationship, decisions u made will affect the gal a lot. Love is a funny thing. If u love the gal very much, would u believe that the 2nd verse will give u provisions with regards to anyone u married, be it christian or non-christian? Love is the greatest thing besides faith and hope as said by the Apostle Paul. Trust in the lord that ur relationship is good and nobody should condemn u. If any pastor or cell group leader will to come and meddle in my relationship, I would ask him/her to mind their own business. Any group that tries to take control of its members' lifestyle are cultic.Originally posted by greengoblin:I believe most of those so called unequally yoked people will be snared by these two verses in their seeming contradiction
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?
And what communion has light with darkness?
II Corinthians 6:14
and
And a woman who has a husband who does not believe,
if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife,
and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband;
otherwise your children will be unclean,
but now they are holy.
I Corinthians 7:13-1
How to you come to a common position on these. And how do a person knows if he or she loves a person? Of course every Christian will desire to have a Christian spouse...but what if that is not possible i.e... he doesn't have much Christian friends to begin with and his viewpoints of life and prioirites are different? That can be abit hard. What I do not like about those so called staunch Christians is they use II Corinthians 6:14 to condemn a person who is in a relationship with a non believer. Love in the first place is not so simple. Can I just leave a person I love just because of that? I don't think so.
Gas... perhaps my interpretation of the bible is a little different from yours. Mine is a cause and effect thingy. If you do not do A then B will happen to you. This could be a wrong interpretation...but...I don't know.... I do not know what it is to love anymore...I don't even know who I am so how can I love another?
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I once argued with my gf as to to what extent shall we take the 'unequally yoke' into consideration. From my understanding, if one really go into the extreme side believers should be cut-off from all non-believers, not just in a relationship.
Why dun u take ur questions to this message board: stephentong.org
I think the person in charge Elder Yong would be able to answer ur questions. -
I understand the problems faced by my gf and the only way to be with her is to believe with her. Sometimes in life we have to compromise things. She will never go out with anyone who is a non-christian.
Frankly your girlfriend has taken a step too far. Not to go out with people who r not believers ? R they any lower or not worthy of her friendship ?Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
Do u know wat tis means ? It means tis is another bible contradiction. One phrase contradicts the result of the other. In the end wat to do ? Each party will choose the side which support their stand most and maintain they r right. Talking about clarity there seems to be none. Talking about practical use of it, it seems to bring more conflict than making sense.
For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?
And what communion has light with darkness?
II Corinthians 6:14
and
And a woman who has a husband who does not believe,
if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife,
and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband;
otherwise your children will be unclean,
but now they are holy.
I Corinthians 7:13-1 -
Stupidsmart, it is a sad truth. Some devoted christian gals would not even consider dating a unbeliever for many, many reasons. That's why u would see a lot of old single christian ladies around in church.
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I know. There r also some people who r worse, they refuse to treat non-believers as close friends. In fact maybe some don't even treat non-believers as friends.
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everywhere there r....christians or not.Originally posted by FireIce:my humble contribution
i know of x-tians (guys) who have ONS with girls of his church
christians r christians because they r imperfect and yet they find the solution to it. -
no doubt, christians are imperfect. But to continually use this as an 'excuse', they wont grow as christians.Originally posted by NeonTetra:everywhere there r....christians or not.
christians r christians because they r imperfect and yet they find the solution to it.