church humour :)
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1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign:
CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY Trespassers will be baptized!
2. "No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace."
3. "Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!"
4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins."
5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
7. When the restaurant next to a Church put out a big sign with red
letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: We are open on Sundays, too."
8. "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily."
9 "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
10. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
11. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
12. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
13. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
14. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."
15. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" (U R)
16. "In the dark? Follow the Son."
17. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."
18. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd." -
Interesting...
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Really nice!
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hahaha
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In RC and Anglican liturgy, it is the usual practice that the Priest when he meets the congregation during service to say ' The Lord be with you' and the rest reply 'And also with you'....
One day before the service starts, a Priest uttered the first few words..but as the microphone is faulty that day and the people cannot hear him at first. So he tried again and say 'There's something wrong with the mic."
The congregation, being trained to just reply the usual words in any liturgy setting replied ' And also with you." The Priest was shocked!
hahahha -
wahahaOriginally posted by NeonTetra:In RC and Anglican liturgy, it is the usual practice that the Priest when he meets the congregation during service to say ' The Lord be with you' and the rest reply 'And also with you'....
One day before the service starts, a Priest uttered the first few words..but as the microphone is faulty that day and the people cannot hear him at first. So he tried again and say 'There's something wrong with the mic."
The congregation, being trained to just reply the usual words in any liturgy setting replied ' And also with you." The Priest was shocked!
hahahha -
Oh man, I spewed out my coke..arghhhOriginally posted by NeonTetra:In RC and Anglican liturgy, it is the usual practice that the Priest when he meets the congregation during service to say ' The Lord be with you' and the rest reply 'And also with you'....
One day before the service starts, a Priest uttered the first few words..but as the microphone is faulty that day and the people cannot hear him at first. So he tried again and say 'There's something wrong with the mic."
The congregation, being trained to just reply the usual words in any liturgy setting replied ' And also with you." The Priest was shocked!
hahahha -
funny but i guess its true to some sense...Originally posted by HENG@:wahaha
church like mine being overwhelmed by liturgical way of worship tend to say the 'right' words and the 'right' time. ppl here are so used to sit, stand and kneel at the right time at the right place.
However, this should NOT be the way liturgy works. Orderly worship is the basis for liturgy, not for people to sleep while still can say the right words...haha
Few weeks back, my friend is rostered to lead prayer. As part of the Anglican prayer 'format'...the person will pray for the different needs stated in the bulletin and its 'always' the last paragraph as part of concluding will they say 'Merciful Father, accept the prayers for the sake of Your Son, our Savior Jesus Christ'
So..she dint mean to be funny..just based on the fact we can call God using many titles and she chose the title 'Merciful Father'
Guess wat? The moment she uttered that FIRST two words, i giggled as i kneel down as i hear 'Accept these prayers for the sake of........' coming throughout the back few rows. haha....
and the thing is the prayer hasnt really ended. -
huh?Originally posted by NeonTetra:funny but i guess its true to some sense...
church like mine being overwhelmed by liturgical way of worship tend to say the 'right' words and the 'right' time. ppl here are so used to sit, stand and kneel at the right time at the right place.
However, this should NOT be the way liturgy works. Orderly worship is the basis for liturgy, not for people to sleep while still can say the right words...haha
Few weeks back, my friend is rostered to lead prayer. As part of the Anglican prayer 'format'...the person will pray for the different needs stated in the bulletin and its 'always' the last paragraph as part of concluding will they say 'Merciful Father, accept the prayers for the sake of Your Son, our Savior Jesus Christ'
So..she dint mean to be funny..just based on the fact we can call God using many titles and she chose the title 'Merciful Father'
Guess wat? The moment she uttered that FIRST two words, i giggled as i kneel down as i hear 'Accept these prayers for the sake of........' coming throughout the back few rows. haha....
and the thing is the prayer hasnt really ended.