Too old means too old... i dont get him
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You might like to read "The Law Of Success In Sixteen Lessons" by Napoleon Hill so that you can get more life insight other than education alone : http://www.basictrainingforlife.com/downloads/lawofsuccessinsixteenlessons.pdf
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ok look, i think im a little of fault here since all my talks to him kinda demotivate him. He now kinda scared and don't know what to do if he really didn't succeed at all throughout these ITE years. Keep mentioning poly will take 3.5 gpa and above in Nitec no matter what.... so he will spend another 2 more years in higher nitec which he then will be 26 years old. WOW... and he really broke down now. Because even if he manage
to get 3.0 and above on this current semester, he has a feeling his culmulative will be around 2.5? which is still low since his current gpa is 2.1. I never seen him this down before. I think i really failed him as his gf.Also, jojobeach and network.. you both made good points. I dont know which to really lean on.
btw the code, i think my bf not those party type of person. He woken up already so he has this courage to study
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Do you watch this commerical in tv? Maybe your BF should learn from him!
: http://youtu.be/inXHqcLbshk -
The number of flaming posts here is extremely disheartening. A person has come to the forums in search of an answer to a real problem, and instead of helping to address issues or clarify matters, she needs to first deal with people with people who insult, belittle and worse, wish that her relationship end.
Do you not realise that this sort of behavior leads to super serious issues like depression and suicide, due to the inability to get a support group? jeez.
Anyway, let_me_zip_u, I hope you can just ignore the terrible comments. I just want to give my two cents on your issue.
From what I have gathered, you first felt your bf is too old for nitec, and stress that he is 24. You were worried that he would be humiliated because he is way out of the average age group that normally attends nitec. You have been trying to talk him out of it, and have dampened his spirits. You think you might have failed him as a gf.
If you are still trying to find a solution, maybe you can explore some of these questions?
1. Is your bf trying to work towards a higher goal other than just being competitive in the job market in the future? Is he trying to secure a future for the both of you?
2. Are either of you financially dependant on the other? Does your worry for him come from the fact he will not have enough money to sustain the education?
3. Why did you feel it was a waste of time before? You must have had a better plan for him, what was it?
From my life view, it is never too late to learn something new. The fact that he is willing to try for an education later in the game does speak a lot about his character, even if he does not do well. It isn't an embarrassment to be late to study, it's actually friggin courageous to step into a room full of younger people who are supposed to be your peers.
I believe that in the working world, it should not be about who has the paper credentials, but about who can get the job done right, and fast. Of course this isn't an ideal that's shared with many employers, which is why the papers are so important as a fallback. I work as a programmer and the only thing I got asked about is my previous projects, they didn't even look at my grades.
Do not linger on the feeling that you have failed him as a gf. You are the best person to cheer him up and support him, and hopefully once you have more understanding of his motivations, you can work towards helping him any way you can. If you love him, you would want the best for him. Just gotta figure out how you can help him best.
Please correct me if I am wrong about anything, and I truly hope you and your bf will get through this tough time. Good luck!
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24 years is not that old lah.
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Get that man to read this:
Before Walt Disney built the empire he has today, he was fired by a newspaper editor because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas."
Before J.K. Rowling had any "Harry Potter" success, the writer was a divorced singled mother on welfare struggling to get by while also attending school and writing a novel.
Steven Spielberg was rejected from the University of Southern California School of Theater, Film and Television three times.After being cut from his high school basketball team, a young Michael Jordan went home and cried in the privacy of his bedroom. But Jordan didn't let this early-in-life setback stop him from playing the game and the basketball superstar has stated , "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Steve Jobs was a college dropout, a fired tech executive and an unsuccessful businessman. At 30-years-old he was left devastated after being unceremoniously removed from the company he founded.
Einstein didn’t speak until he was four and didn’t read until he was seven. He was poor in academic and subsequently expelled from school and was not admitted to the Zurich Polytechnic School.
Now, what would be the story of your man?
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Originally posted by kakolukia:
...to work towards a higher goal other than just being competitive in the job market in the future? Is he trying to secure a future for...about who has the paper credentials, but about who can get the job done right, and fast. Of course this isn't an ideal that'...
is this something unfinished? i dont get what u trying to say. sorry
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Originally posted by KuraKura:
Get that man to read this:
Before Walt Disney built the empire he has today, he was fired by a newspaper editor because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas."
Before J.K. Rowling had any "Harry Potter" success, the writer was a divorced singled mother on welfare struggling to get by while also attending school and writing a novel.
Steven Spielberg was rejected from the University of Southern California School of Theater, Film and Television three times.
After being cut from his high school basketball team, a young Michael Jordan went home and cried in the privacy of his bedroom. But Jordan didn't let this early-in-life setback stop him from playing the game and the basketball superstar has stated , "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Steve Jobs was a college dropout, a fired tech executive and an unsuccessful businessman. At 30-years-old he was left devastated after being unceremoniously removed from the company he founded.
Einstein didn’t speak until he was four and didn’t read until he was seven. He was poor in academic and subsequently expelled from school and was not admitted to the Zurich Polytechnic School.
Now, what would be the story of your man?
so what u trying to say, failure is a key to success?
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Originally posted by Ee Hoe Hean Club:
24 years is not that old lah.
24 year old in NITEC seems pretty "too late" to me
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"Failure is the key to a success?"
goodness, you really need a help.
Can't you see something same in all the cases above? They never give up!
People can reject them, can close the door for them, can kick them out of school or work, but they NEVER give up! They don't kick themselves out, and they don't fail themselves. They might cry for a moment but they stand up and fight again.
Now, that guy in your life sounds like a fighter, and you sound like people who fail and reject them.
Got it?
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Originally posted by let_me_zip_u:
24 year old in NITEC seems pretty "too late" to me
Is he still serving NS reservist? If he is, that means he is still young. SAF doesn't want old men, they only want young men.
If SAF wants him, that means he is young.
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Originally posted by let_me_zip_u:
is this something unfinished? i dont get what u trying to say. sorry
I'm just trying to find out if you guys have a long term goal, because that's what matters..
I am quite curious, why do you think that 24 is too old? Maybe you can spend some time to post your feelings on this?
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Originally posted by kakolukia:
The number of flaming posts here is extremely disheartening. A person has come to the forums in search of an answer to a real problem, and instead of helping to address issues or clarify matters, she needs to first deal with people with people who insult, belittle and worse, wish that her relationship end.
Do you not realise that this sort of behavior leads to super serious issues like depression and suicide, due to the inability to get a support group? jeez.
Anyway, let_me_zip_u, I hope you can just ignore the terrible comments. I just want to give my two cents on your issue.
From what I have gathered, you first felt your bf is too old for nitec, and stress that he is 24. You were worried that he would be humiliated because he is way out of the average age group that normally attends nitec. You have been trying to talk him out of it, and have dampened his spirits. You think you might have failed him as a gf.
If you are still trying to find a solution, maybe you can explore some of these questions?
1. Is your bf trying to work towards a higher goal other than just being competitive in the job market
in the future? Is he trying to secure a future for the
both of you?2. Are either of you financially
dependant on the other? Does your worry for him come
from the fact he will not have enough money to sustain the
education?3. Why did you feel it was a waste of time before? You must have had a better plan for him, what was it?
From my life view, it is never too late
to learn something new. The fact that he is
willing to try for an education later in the game does speak a lot
about his character, even if he does not do well. It isn't an
embarrassment to be late to study, it's actually friggin courageous
to step into a room full of younger people who are supposed to be
your peers.I believe that in the working world, it should not be about who has the paper credentials, but about who can get the job done right, and fast. Of course this isn't an ideal that's shared with many employers
, which
is why the papers are so important as a fallback. I work as a
programmer and the only thing I got asked about is my previous
projects, they didn't even look at my grades.Do not linger on the feeling that you have failed him as a gf. You are the best person to cheer him up and support him, and hopefully once you have more understanding of his motivations, you can work towards helping him any way you can. If you love him, you would want the best for him. Just gotta figure out how you can help him best.
Please correct me if I am wrong about anything, and I truly hope you and your bf will get through this tough time. Good luck!
ohh u edit the post haha. Because last time i was here, that post was incomplete..
not really too bothered by all that but thanks for your concern
anyway, i think we both have nothing to worry about finance. Just that he beginning to feel insecure lately with his age card. 24 in NITEC and he will be in poly when he reaches 27 then he will be surrounded by students who is 10 years younger than him. He is not proud of that at all.. it is an opposite. But he just have to go through with it, he said. But i feel it is because of that, he feels a distraction.
I may qoute on what u said " it is never too late to learn something new. The fact that he is willing to try for an education later in the game does speak a lot about his character, even if he does not do well. It isn't an embarrassment to be late to study, it's actually friggin courageous to step into a room full of younger people who are supposed to be your peers." ... hope these lind cheers him up abit. Just that he regret not studying well and now he want to feel the need of study again.
and oh ya reason that i feel 24 is too old because he is in NITEC haha. I never seen anyone so far who is at his age studying in NITEC. The day if it comes that he goes to university, he will be like 30 years old? people already settling in by that age. i think the problems starts already by then
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well based on working experience, there are actually many people that take their diplomas or degrees part time, while working, way past 30. 30 year old in university is actually a lot more common than you think it is! Most people do it because they want to upgrade themselves (apply for another job after getting their diploma/degree and get a pay raise in the process) and if they persevere it will pay off in the long run.
I know some people who do it because they are genuinely interested in certain fields of study (a friend studies social work because she really wants to be more involved in that)
Well, I'm a hopeless romantic that believes that if you guys really love each other, and are mentally/financially sound, these are just waves in your journey that will not rock your boat. Being 30, working and part time schooling, doesn't mean cannot be settling down and planning for a future together at the same time. They are not mutually exclusive, just like how you can be exercising in the morning, working in the day, partying in the evening, chilling out in the night.
Since you guys are financially stable, maybe you can think about how you want your future with him to be. Where do you want your relationship to be at 30? He may be in university but still able to give you what you want. Good stuff to chat with your partner about if the mood is good.
Let us know how it goes!
(i didn't edit my posts, I'm not sure what happened, my other posts in other threads also seemed to disappear, was quite sad coz i wrote quite a bit lol)
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Sorry to disturb
Just wondering if I attained a 3.211 nitec in medical manufacturing with overseas trip certs and participation in NYAA Gold. Just wondering if any of you know people that went I to poly with similar cases as me? I graduated with a GPA of 3.211 and a current GPA of 4.0.
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Since he awknowledged his mistakes in the past and wants to change his life for the better, as his gf i feel that you should support him. Im sure he knows what he is doing. Regardless of his decision give him the support he needs so that he feels what he is current doing is right. That will motivate him too. Success is achieving what you want in life and definitely not just achieving a high salary. Dont let the word 'NITEC' affect your thinking. Sure he is abit old but so what? I see many Singaporeans taking private diploma at 25-30 too at SIM and also i have a friend taking his diploma at NYP at age 26. My friend isn't discouraged at all and he is actually quite happy he made the decision at his age to take up the course. Just my 0.02
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It is not to late to upgrade or learn...
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who are you to judge him?
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Its never to late or too old to start studying. Its just the weird and concstricting Asian mindset we have.
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I think you if your partner chose to continue studying after regretting his choices in the past, maybe try to be supportive and help him alongside him. you guys will be happier in the long run
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If you really love him, support him in things that are constructive. One can never be too old to learn things. the more you learn the more knowledgable you become, and you can use these knowledge to boost not only your professional life, but your confidence. So don't pour cold water on him. Don't cramp his style and let him soar.
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SkillsFuture : http://www.skillsfuture.sg
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Originally posted by let_me_zip_u:
OR... you guys actually on his side with this one??
I am with you...you are 现实
However, maybe your approach to him; regarding this topic is wrong?
Your "reasoning" such as with younger students is way off.These are ����的�由。也�符�逻辑。
Of course he will not listen mah..
These are many other strong under-lying reason which you can "JAM" him to stop his study for now; continue later on OR half study/half work.
You confirm is not stupid, you sure can let him 一针�血。But again, once you let him 一针�血, to him; he may say you are materilistic , will not �苦with him etc.
It still boils down to IF you wan to be with him, stuck with him or what.
Its your ultimate choice, its your path... -
Nothing to do, Never read all replies, just read TS's situation and anyhow post...
Thinking in a pratical situation and re-writing from a female's perspective.My bf last time no study, now wan study, now in ite, age 24.
Since i love him, i want to support his dreams, even till he go overseas study few year, let him see ang mor charbors etc...BUT!!!!
希望有人能站在我的立场看。
我尊�他的梦想，也知�他的�想, 但现实有点残酷。。。。
So, step by step....
1. Since i am his gf, i have to do my duty to give him sex as i understand his needs & let him �泄 on me.
*If i preggy how? Abortion? Born out?2.Lets say i born on, i dun wan to be a un-wed mother, i wan to give the child a healthy family...
*I will try my best to not increase the burden for my current "bf", i will work till i deliver our child.3.Simple marry i also ok, but simple does not mean held at community centre, now table average ~$1k for hotel, ~$700 for resturant...
*Upfront need deposits de..4.I dun need super class/expensive grown photo taking, i just want to keep our memories of US when we are pretty & handsome, from young i follow you till i old, by your deathside.
5.Born child also need cash, during �月, i dun eat nvm, please buy good milk powder for our child, decent diapers cos baby skin is still delicate...
6.I will continue working, but who help take care of our child? Parents also old liao, Nanny is exp, childcare cte also at least ~400 (price depends).
7.I dun mind living with your parents, but it will be better if we have our own small love nest.
*CPF need al least enought for 5% for staggered payment..i can come out 1st cos i love you & i got work while you chasing your dream...8.But that is where all the mth ends, now i alone work, might not be enough to secure loan from HDB, the difference have to be paid in CASH.
9.I dun need quality reno, kitchen can cook ok liao, i can steal TV from my own parents place, bed we buy need..less then $200 got queen size, put on floor is japan style..no need bed frame.
So now my bf age 24, the above can happen anytime from today...what can i do?
I tried to ask him to think of our 眼�的局势, tell him that current in ITE, 5 years down the road, how to compete with lower salaried FT, and many others that have the same cert with him (somemore he no experiance)...there are also others with experiance with equalivant cert or better competing with him too..He now no work, no cpf, if the above happen, how lea? Who pay?
Born child medisafe maybe i enough, but still need cash..Who Pay?
*ME/BF/His PARENTS/My PARENTS?EDITED:How to make him think & later on �工�读？
If he persist on to go study, then oversea, do those that want me to let him study give me guarentte that he will not leave me, where any 风花雪夜might happen there...我也ä¸�过想有个家，有个疼爱我的è€�公，能ä¸�用让我这么辛苦，å�¯ä»¥æ‰˜ä»˜ä¸ç”Ÿçš„男人。
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Originally posted by let_me_zip_u:
i think we both have nothing to worry about finance. Just that he beginning to feel insecure lately with his age card. 24 in NITEC and he will be in poly when he reaches 27 then he will be surrounded by students who is 10 years younger than him. He is not proud of that at all.. it is an opposite. But he just have to go through with it, he said. But i feel it is because of that, he feels a distraction.
Now then read this, since money no issue, then no need care liao..support him all the way..
Ask him to finish nitec then do dip, then degree, then WITH HIM go take 四方帽photo..
Hang at his parents place, let his parents know YOU are their 媳妇。*Having ppl younger then him might be a good thing. If all are good friends, Since again, money no issue, he of older age, ask him open business, get them to work for him..he control them..you at home shake leg become Tai Tai..